I remember one day I was complaining; about how someone I loved kept hurting them self and couldn’t be sober, and I was saying how much it hurt me. A woman next to me said, “You only can do one thing. Let go and let God.” My response was, “Are you ‘f..king’ kidding me?”
I was so wrapped up in the drama in my life that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me; she was absolutely right. It took me a while, but that statement changed something inside of me, I left that day with a new view. I hated to admit it of course, but slowly I started to unravel the puzzle that I called my life. What a mess, I had no idea how tangled my relationships were and distorted my views were about myself and those around me. I felt that call to return to my true self, the person I was prior to all of the damage that life had so aptly provided me. It was a long and painful process and still is at times, but the clouds are parted and I can see through the pain now when it arises and it always dissipates back into the energy that it really is…it is only energy.
When I look back on my life, I see many situations that I thought at the time I would never live through (and not just physically.) Many times I told myself that the pain was unbearable. I was wrong. Each time the pain lessened as I realized that although I could not control everything that happened to me, I could control some things. Things like; the situations I allowed myself to be put in. The people I allowed into my life. The dramas I actively engaged in. The triggers within me; which I clung so desperately to. The way I chose to live my life. How I chose to perceive things. There are many more, but these were the hardest and yet the most liberating of them.
I will go further into detail later on, but these areas are what keep people trapped in pain. The first step in healing is identifying the source of the wound.
I had discovered some of mine, and was about to transform my whole life…
~ In Love
From the Book:
Intuitive Reflections: A Spiritual JourneyCopyright © 1992-2016 Maria LawlessAll rights reserved. Author asserts her Moral Rights.Book will be available in 2017
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