Covid and Rebirth

Deep gratitude to you all, for your energy, prayers and support over the past week, it is much appreciated. Also, thank you to those who had to be rescheduled, you are all so lovely and understanding. This experience with C19 has been deeply healing as well as very painful; physically yes, but also -emotionally, psychologically, mentally and spiritually.

For those who don't know, my family ended up with the dreaded flu last week, one son who visited and three of us who live here. 2 are vxd and 2 are not, it is indiscriminate. My hubby and youngest had it rough, they handled it like champs though and we all supported yet gave each other space too.

I will say that for me, this was a spiritual experience that felt like a rebirth. It could be due to my pre-existing health issues, or because I allowed the process to fully take me, but I definitely felt the brunt of it. I also asked Archangel Gabriel to guide me through the process to get the most benefit from the experience. I highly recommend that!

I will try to put into words what I have experienced over the past week, which has felt more like three. I am just starting to learn to walk on new feet again, so hopefully I am up and running again soon, maybe just not as quickly. That was another lesson, this touched upon.

Firstly, the physical pain was unbelievable, every muscle spasm in random often at the same time, the splitting headaches and shooting pains, joint pain and locks, profuse sweating, fever and chills, nausea, and yet. With every pain; a memory released and rose to be cleared. It seemed every body part wanted a turn to speak, so I listened and held space for my own healing.

I felt it all within three days, every memory I had buried opened to me. I saw and felt often in quick succession, every kick to my legs, every hit to to my head, every pinch to the back of my arms or thighs, every punch or slap, every crack of the belt, every whip of the switch, each smash of my skull against a siblings skull, each shove into walls or furniture, the thud of each fall, the violations and innocence lost, the betrayals and heartache, the sorrow and loss, the yearnings and helplessness, the anger and rage, the sadness and disconnect, and finally the re-connection and peace. I am reborn, yet again.

I can't describe the multiple layers of healing this has touched upon. Much was known by my logical mind, but my active memory needed to be shown each connection for me to be able to move it through my energy bodies to be released. I know that my physical body has changed, not only visibly -but how we move as one again. I no longer feel separated from my body, nor trapped by it. I am housed here, and will do my best to honour that connection.

Please understand this is not aimed at anyone in particular, this was a healing process for me. I credit both of our parents for being both brave and vulnerable. They both individually apologised many years ago for the way we were raised. Though in two separate households, the times were such in the 70s that this was a common life. They knew it had been wrong and told us not to follow the same path with our kids. They were and are legends, and the first break in the cycle of abuse.

Our generation can heal the wounds of the past, so that it no longer infects the generations after us. How much responsibility can you take for your healing? Can you look at it and name it? Are you willing to go in and find the hidden pearls within the pain? Can you forgive that which was learned behaviour, dogma and social programming? Can you see their pain and see how that could have created the environment you experienced? Not many will, but some have and will. I have.

This is where I am today, I just want to enjoy life. I have worked really hard to be where I am, and I'm ready to slow down and just savor every moment. I am much better today, and will be slowing my pace again as I step back into everyday life. I will not be taking clients at home, only via Zoom and only a few per week. The decks will finally be out by the end of the month and I can start my next creative cycle.

Thank you for you support, you really are a wonderful bunch of people and may you find the blessings within your challenges.