I saw this meme today that said, “The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.” and it triggered these thoughts while reading it.
This statement is so true. Sometimes we get so caught up in being ‘right’ we forget that we each have our own point of view, our own story (sometimes quite painful and unsaid) and we each have our good and bad days. There is always, a middle ground where we can remember and honour each other just as we are. Without finding fault, nor blame. Instead, we can find a different space, where we focus upon each other’s strengths -not weaknesses.
Pointing out anothers’ weakness and faults opens ourselves up to the same scrutiny. For while we are busy pointing at another to gain attention and garner support for our own point of view, we are hurting them- as well as ourselves; which we then attribute to them.
In reality, the moment we got angry, we felt let down or betrayed- the pain started. However, when we refuse to let that hurt and that anger and sense of betrayal go; it is no longer the other, but in fact, we ourselves, who are carrying that pain forward.
When our pride keeps us from forgiving- especially those we love, and truly examining our part in the event -we block our own growth, as well as our sense of humanity. Part of being human is making mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes hurt the ones we love most.
When this happens we must always try and see the other person as we would want them to see us- as a WHOLE being; not as a moment, not as a day, not as a verbal outburst not as they project – but as they are. Realize no matter how deeply we feel we have been wronged, they may not understand why we feel that way, as they are not us. This goes both ways, they may feel wronged as well.
Please take a moment today and truly assess all of your anger and resentments, and see what the cause truly is… it is our expectation of how the other person ‘should behave.’ This is usually the cause, and the cure. Moving from victim-hood into a place of self-empowerment is not easy, but it is possible and so rewarding. We all have made mistakes and had outbursts, but if we look deeply, these triggered reactions are often coming from a place of fear or defensiveness due to feeling hurt or attacked.
Often things people say are taken out of context, or heard based upon things we subconsciously feel about ourselves or things we have subconsciously held on to.
But it is up to us to truly make that distinction between words spoken in anger; which often allude to something we need to hear- or if it is something more. Even if only to show us that they themselves are in pain.
It could be that the words were heard from our own hidden pain; by that small child inside who may feel unworthy, worthless, threatened or weak, and longs to finally stand up and say something back; usually at the person we most love. This inner self, often goes crazy when released, and finds fault and blame with everyone who it feels, has been holding it back, or within. It does not realize that we alone have kept it inside until we felt safe enough to let it out.
Each of us, prior to incarnating, has co-written the script of what we wish to experience and with whom these events would transpire. We alone, can accept or reject any life lessons, but we cannot force others to. On a subconscious level, we have allowed people to treat us the way we felt we deserved to be treated based upon our internal dialogue. Our energy attracts what we wish to experience, for growth. We are unaware of this because we would not learn anything we came to learn, such as forgiveness and love.
So, yes, we create our reality from the space within, in which we find ourselves energetically in any given moment. We drew in pain, and anger, and hopelessness and fear- ONLY because we didn’t know any better.
When we were growing up, we were programmed a certain way to think the world is a certain way, and only when we become adults, do we begin to dismantle what we have been conditioned to believe, so that we may become our true selves. Our view expands, from that of our family, culture, religion, and government to what we feel and know to be right. We begin to see that the moments in life which brought the most pain, also ushered in the most growth and expansion. We see, they pale in comparison with the state of the world in which we live and the pain so many suffer daily.
Along the way we all make mistakes, we stumble, we project, we deny, we get angry, but always, we have the option of coming back to that true loving self who knows forgiveness. We know we must forgive ourselves, because we did not know any better. We must also forgive others, for neither did they know any better. I truly hope we can look inside and see the lessons, the stages of growth, the changes in ourselves, as well as others… and let the pain go; for it serves no one.
Everyone has a past, a life story and everyone feels pain… try to ease that burden for someone today, make amends with those you feel have hurt you even if only in your heart. This does not mean allowing abuse, nor taking on all the blame, it means finding a space in which to really assess the state of our affairs and place them wherever they need to be, at least outside of our energy. Let the pain and resentment go, but don’t throw out they beauty, joy and lessons with the baggage.
Make the separation between the person and the action. Is this person seeing you for who you are and accepting who you are, or do they see the projection which once was you or which never existed, but they wanted you to be? If the latter, it is time to be seen for who you are now, and let them remain where they are. Do not make yourself small for another, nor allow them to pull you back to an energy which you have outgrown. But do, make peace within yourself, so that you remain able to sever that tie in a loving and compassionate way.
Now check yourself, are you doing the same? Do you truly see who they are now, or are they a projection of who they once were, or even who you need them to be? Only when we can do this in our private affairs, can we hope to achieve a world where we all live free to be just as we are.
In Love ~
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