This is very graphic and violent and may emotionally trigger people.
If you are family, or have ever called yourself my family, then you may want to wait and read this when you are at home or alone. It includes all of you.
Last night, I awoke in the middle of the night as I felt a presence in the room. I recognised it as one of my guides. I knew they were there to take me on a journey and do some work. I was half awake, and heard my husband snoring very loudly and I asked to be shown why my husband does so every night. They asked if I was ready to remember, and I said I was, and fell back into a deep sleep. You would think I would know better by now.
It was shown to me, because it needed to be healed, not only in myself and my husband, but as it turns out, in my family as well. His snoring is in relation to his throat being crushed from being hung in another lifetime. He was a very large man not only physically, but his personality, his love for family and the respect of his community.
This is what I experienced.
I could smell blood and smoke, and hear shouting, it was hazy but then it started to clear. I was fighting with a man with a blade and trying not to be stabbed. He sliced both of my hands as I grabbed the blade and pushed it to the side. and kicked him knocking him to the ground. I took the blade and stabbed him in the neck. There were people fighting all around me, they all felt like community and family, the others were the enemy. There was blood everywhere and shouting and the sound of metal on bone and tearing flesh.
I started running for where I could hear the women and children screaming. They were in the the barn and I could see they had them pushed back around the walls. I recognised my sister’s (My sister Kc in this current life) repeated frantic cries, “Leave him alone!” and her cries kept increasing in both urgency and pain. I knew it was my family and I had to get to them.
I climbed up on something beside the barn, and when I looked in, they had the men with ropes around their throats in the middle. They put them in a circle so they had to watch each other die. Most had already been beaten and stabbed and hung, but as I got close I saw my brother (my husband in this current life) and I couldn’t get to him to cut the rope.
I couldn’t get in fast enough, but looked down just as he kicked his legs in his final struggle for breath. I felt myself hit with a mass of emotion as the families all started wailing and screaming and fighting back. I felt myself get hit in the head. I felt weak and everything went blurry. I must have been knocked out as next I felt myself inside the barn gasping for air and in pain. I could hear all the wailing and crackling of fire and felt everyone clamoring over each other to escape the heat, then it all faded.
We all died. They killed us all. They killed many in the barn, forced the rest of us in, then started it ablaze. They kept us in the barn and stabbed or killed any who tried to escape. Men, women and children; our family and our community screaming in agony as we were slaughtered. They lied about what happened, they were brutal and heartless. They enjoyed it with rage filling their eyes and evil in their hearts. They laughed and celebrated as we died.
As I woke up, I could still smell the burning wood and flesh, and still hear the screams and choking, as they all died around me. Children of all ages, women and men, elders, I was overcome with fear and grief an anger… I felt helpless.
I was sobbing and trying to get a full breath, and gently pull back from the vision. I got out of bed so I could see my husband before he left for work and hold him. I needed that contact and to see him alive.
When he saw me, he did his normal, “Good morning Love, how are you?” I burst into tears and told him what I had seen. He just held me tight, and told me he was OK now; “Look, I am here. We are both ok.” He knows about, and is very supportive of my work. He has seen the effects of my spontaneous recall before, and he is always supportive.
I also apologised for not being strong enough or fast enough to save him or any of them. He told me, “You know it wasn’t your fault and there’s nothing you could do, so you can let that go.” and pulled me closer.
That was exactly what I needed to ground me. He was absolutely right. I was carrying it, and needed to let it go. I think we all need to let that go. That being, the guilt and the fear of standing up and fighting for ourselves. Both, the women, who couldn’t save the men or our parents and children; and the men, who couldn’t save the women or our parents and children. None of us could have changed this. It was a group lesson in cruelty and helplessness.
I am glad now, that he had died before witnessing the horror of watching his siblings, children and grandchildren burning. His death was a blessing in this regard.
We can make peace with it now, and release the trauma associated with that lifetime. That confrontation was all about religion and politics, as it always is. They were trying to force us to convert and we refused. They wanted obedient people who would follow their orders, and we were far from obedient or submissive.
We still are… still a bunch of rebellious fighters who follow our hearts and our own inner dialogue. No one will force us to believe anything that we feel is untrue. We always question authority, we always call out injustice and we always will fight for our own truths.
This was a massive revelation to me; why we have such a strong family bond. It is so strong that we feel each other’s pain and emotions. We share dreams, and know things at the same time. We are very loving, compassionate and forgiving of each other and of others. If you hurt and betray one of us, we all feel hurt and betrayed, but we will all always forgive you.
Once part of the family, you are always part of the family, as many of our adopted along the way family can attest to. We have many brothers and sisters in addition to the 10 of us, and I know now, that they were all there that night, and died along with us on the land and in that barn back in the late 1700s. The loyalty we all feel for each other goes back a very long time and will continue into the next life.
This was one hell of a timeline to recall, and one very clear answer to his snoring, as well as explaining some of our other subconscious fears and anxiety triggers. Some possible effects from that lifetime are as follows.
Snoring
Unexplained neck pain
Choke on food, air or spit (on a reoccurring basis)
Throat chakra or thyroid issues
Lung Issues / Asthma (from breathing the smoke)
Skin disorders or sensitivities (from the burns)
Fear of Intruders (dislike unannounced visitors)
Fear of being too slow / weak to protect family
Fear of fire
Fear of being stabbed or impaled
Claustrophobia (From being crammed together and unable to get out)
Insomnia or waking up startled and unsettled
Overprotective of family
Aversion to religion (organised)
Aversion to barns (old outbuildings, etc.)
Affinity for Irish culture
Avoidance of confrontation (confrontation led to our death that night)
When provoked, we rebel
Risk Takers (we will try new things even if we suck at it)
All or none mentality (one beer? That’s not possible. lol)
Aversion to Indoctrination by religion, politics or even education
Aversion to Sheople (people who follow the herd or are selectively ignorant)
Introversion (to others outside of family)
Sticking to our own
Aversion to Wealth (they take it all anyways)
Fear or being powerful (we have seen power corrupt)
Trouble setting goals (never expected to reach adulthood)
Peacemakers and enforcers (we prefer the former, but will use latter if need be)
Activators and agitators (don’t expect us to conform)
Some in our family and ‘adopted’ family, may have some of these as well, and not know why. Each of them can go within and slowly reread this story, if it feels like they were there, if they feel an emotional connection or reaction when reading it, then they were there. They can ask for healing and let it all go, just as we will be doing. Turn those fears into strengths. Be thankful for this life you have now, and remember that every day we are given is a gift. You can message me if you need to or if you have any questions.
Some of you may not have known that I see other lifetimes. My own, I recall both awake and in dreams, and for others it is usually just from tuning in to them. The reason mine are done in dreams is that is when I am not blocking it and can see it from many angles in that open state. I have been doing this work with my guide group for years as a means to work through my timeline traumas and better understand myself and my own spiritual journey as a soul.
Timelines run concurrently for me, I call them past lives because it is easier for people to understand, but for me they all exist simultaneously. The blending is something I have always experienced, but as I get older the healing aspect has replaced the fear I felt as a child and into many of my adult years. It was really very hard as a child seeing all if this and not understanding it, so I am forever grateful to my guide group and ancestors for their assistance and teachings.
I also feel very blessed to have Brent as my husband and best friend. I can tell him anything… and believe me, he has heard and seen some weird shit. It is almost evening now, and I am just starting to feel like my feet are back on the ground. I think it is time for lots of cuddles from My Big Sexy Wookie when he gets home. This will take a few days to process.
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