Many women spend the first half of their lives giving away their power, and the second half trying to get it back. Being ahead of the curve is not a bad thing. – Lotura 29/8/09
There are many reasons this happens. Often it is taken away through abuse or neglect and this is a natural response to these situations.
When we are not given that security as a child and we feel unsafe or we feel that we are worthless we begin to seek that affection from others.
While trying to obtain approval and affection, we slowly lose who we are. Instead, we become who they want us to be; from parents to partners to society, it becomes an ingrained way of living, always the chameleon trying to please.
If security and affection are given in childhood, we grow up with a strong sense of self that stays with us into adulthood, it too becomes an ingrained way of living.
Yet, we still must face and sift through all of the patriarchal views that still permeate every area of life, from education to medical care.
Our lives are entrenched in a journey of inferiority, which is programmed into the hologram and pervades so many societal structures and the minds of those within them.
We must watch what we wear, where we go, who we speak with, how we look, what we say, etc. All these areas, in which society tries to dictate the standard for which we are to strive.
It then condemns, ridicules or shames us, trying to make us feel ‘less than’ when we cannot meet these unrealistic expectations or flat out refuse to conform.
So even with a strong foundation, the challenge ahead for girls is a very steeped slope and we can slide back into that self-doubt, loathing or approval seeking very easily.
As we make our way through life, we do better with a support group who sees us for who we are and not only accepts us fully; but encourages us to be ourselves in spite of pressures to conform to societal standards.
Many women have not had this support, for many reasons, but the point is they spend their lives giving away their power in order to ‘fit in’ to a paradigm which was created and largely dictated by men -in the interest of men.
Times have changed and we have more freedom to be ourselves now, but we still have a very long way to go before we are able to retain that power throughout our lives.
I encourage all of you to stop and take some time to reflect upon your life and see how you may have given your power away. Look back at the times when you felt the most alone and depressed and you will find in those times, you were in some way, seeking approval or going against who you really are -in order to please someone.
We have all done it, and yes, it is not only women who go through this. However, it is more prevalent with women because of the pervasiveness of the patriarchal mindsets we must face on a daily basis.
Take some of your power back today, stop being who others want you to be, just be yourself and you will find your light starts to shine a lot brighter when you no longer make yourself small for others.
In Love
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